I must say until recently, I had never had drop hit me several days after a scene. It was usually that day or the next. However, this week I have been slammed with feelings that I have not been able to understand and it took a friend pointing out that it well could be drop.
After a wonderful day with my Sir, I came home still flying high. I took care of myself, wore his shirt to bed and tried to get plenty of rest. The next three days at work I was under a lot of pressure and actually worked longer days than normal on a huge project. Then came the day I was through with it and that is when I crashed.
Five hours into Thursday, I was hit with an exhaustion like I haven’t experienced in a very long time. I just thought it was the pressure of the project and brushed it off. I managed to get home, put on my pjs and crawled into bed to rest – except sleep was not my friend. Instead, depression began to creep in. I felt so alone. I was near tears and could not figure out why.
The next morning I went to work and managed to get through 3 hours before I left. I decided to try to pamper myself to see if it would help, so I went and had a manicure which i usually enjoy. Instead, I think the nail tech was about ready to call 911 to me because i was about to fall out of my chair. I cancelled the rest of my day and headed home for bed.
I managed to get into my pjs and crawled onto the couch with a blanket because by this time I could not figure out if I was hot or cold – but no fever. And to tell the truth, it is times like this that I want and need both my stuffie and my blanket. I curled up wishing so very much I could be with my Sir, but it was not possible.
I spoke with him every day and that helped, but my biggest issue was not accepting what was going on with me. Because I did not realize that drop was hitting me like a hammer, I could not explain to him what I was feeling, so I would just tell him that I was tired and I missed him. Of course he insisted that I rest and take care of myself – which i tried to do.
Then today – words from a wise friend made me see. My exhaustion was made worse by delayed drop. I felt kinda dumb for not having realized it earlier – so many of the signs were there – exhaustion, depression, weepiness, being hot/cold, etc – things that I normally do not experience after a big project, but I guess it happens to the best of the us sometimes.
I started drinking extra fluids. I took me a long hot bubble bath. I even got me some dark chocolate – something I normally only eat when I am with him. I am beginning to feel some better. I allowed myself to process what I was feeling and I know that this will help me the next time it happens.