I must say until recently, I had never had drop hit me several days after a scene. It was usually that day or the next. However, this week I have been slammed with feelings that I have not been able to understand and it took a friend pointing out that it well could be drop.

After a wonderful day with my Sir, I came home still flying high. I took care of myself, wore his shirt to bed and tried to get plenty of rest. The next three days at work I was under a lot of pressure and actually worked longer days than normal on a huge project. Then came the day I was through with it and that is when I crashed.

Five hours into Thursday, I was hit with an exhaustion like I haven’t experienced in a very long time. I just thought it was the pressure of the project and brushed it off. I managed to get home, put on my pjs and crawled into bed to rest – except sleep was not my friend. Instead, depression began to creep in. I felt so alone. I was near tears and could not figure out why.

The next morning I went to work and managed to get through 3 hours before I left. I decided to try to pamper myself to see if it would help, so I went and had a manicure which i usually enjoy. Instead, I think the nail tech was about ready to call 911 to me because i was about to fall out of my chair. I cancelled the rest of my day and headed home for bed.

I managed to get into my pjs and crawled onto the couch with a blanket because by this time I could not figure out if I was hot or cold – but no fever. And to tell the truth, it is times like this that I want and need both my stuffie and my blanket. I curled up wishing so very much I could be with my Sir, but it was not possible.

I spoke with him every day and that helped, but my biggest issue was not accepting what was going on with me. Because I did not realize that drop was hitting me like a hammer, I could not explain to him what I was feeling, so I would just tell him that I was tired  and I  missed him. Of course he insisted that I rest and take care of myself – which i tried to do.

Then today – words from a wise friend made me see. My exhaustion was made worse by delayed drop. I felt kinda dumb for not having realized it earlier – so many of the signs were there – exhaustion, depression, weepiness, being hot/cold, etc – things that I normally do not experience after a big project, but I guess it happens to the best of the us sometimes.

I started drinking extra fluids. I took me a long hot bubble bath. I even got me some dark chocolate – something I normally only eat when I am with him. I am beginning to feel some better. I allowed myself to process what I was feeling and I know that this will help me the next time it happens.

Something came up in a conversation i was having with a fellow submissive today and i would like to share it with all of you.

It seems that there are some Dominants that are looking for a perfect submissive, so submissives are wondering how to become perfect. Let me tell you something that will ease that stress from your – there is no such thing as a perfect submissive. And shocker of shockers to some – there is no such person as a perfect Dom. We are all  human and subject to make a mistake. It is what we do with that mistake that shows what kind of submissive you really are.

All of us should strive to be the very best we can be. It is the job of our Dominants to help us become the very best submissive we can be. This is accomplished through the tasks they give us. It is also what our punishments should be about. Just as you give punishment to a child to help them become better people – that is what our punishments should be. If the reason you are being punished is not explained to you, how are you going to grow as a submissive.

And this is why it is so important to really get to know a potential Dominant before giving  him your submission. Behavior that may be amusing and or tolerated by one Dominant can also be seen as bratty, un – sub like behavior and be grounds for punishment – if not release. Find the right Dom for you is just as hard, if not harder than find the right husband/wife.  there are no shortcuts in any type of relationship.

Remember when you are looking for a Dominant – or a submissive – there is no such thing as a perfect Dom or submissive. Yes a Dom or a sub may be the perfect match for you, but there is a big difference in perfect for you and being perfect.

@ This is a work in progress. I will continue adding to it as more thoughts and ideas come to mind.