Sometimes my need and desire to serve is almost overwhelming. It seems that no matter how much i give, how pleased He is with me, i find myself longing to give more. His happiness – His pleasure – brings me so much happiness and joy.
I know that as long as He is pleased with me that i am serving Him well, but i believe my desire to serve just grows stronger every time He smiles at me and tells me what a good girl i am.
As i think on my time as a submissive, i am sometimes amazed at how i have grown as a woman and a sub. I am nowhere near the same person i was 4 years ago. I can only pray that i continue to grow in submission and strength so that i can always please Him. That i can grow as a person and a sub to be able to give Him all that He may ask of me.
i can understand that there are many that do not understand how one can submit to another’s will and feel they are a stronger person for it. Heck, if someone would have tried to tell me that a few years ago, i would have been scratching my head too – all the while wondering why i constantly felt something was missing in my life. Opening my heart and mind and finally accepting my submissive spirit was like finding myself for the first time. It answered all the “whys” that was always in my relationships.
I am not saying that my travel along this path has been easy – there have been some dark, rocky sections along the way. But now i stand in the light that His Love for and Dominance of me, and i feel myself blossom. And the ache to serve, to please grows stronger.

Once again i am looking at people involved/getting involved in this lifestyle and i have to scratch my head and wonder.  Maybe i am the odd duck, who knows? To me this lifestyle is more than just having someone in your life. It is a connection deeper than anything i have ever known. It is hard to put into words, but being with my Dominant is my little piece of heaven.  His Dominance is worthy of every bit of submission i give Him – and more. I also know that – to Him- my love and submission is the greatest and most valuable gift i could give Him. It makes serving Him an even greater pleasure than i could have imagined. It also makes me long to please Him even more. They reverberate off of each other – growing as they do so.
I think some see the collar as  a symbol of the lifestyle alone. They want a collar so they can show that they are a submissive. My collar is more – so much more. To me it is a symbol of the love and connection that is between us. It is tangible evidence that my submission is cherished by Him even while He owns me.  It symbolizes a love that is beyond any vanilla relationship i have been in.

Now i know that there are some in the lifestyle that do not have a loving connection but it is strictly a D/s relationship – some even without sex. However – for that collar to mean anything besides a kinky piece of jewelry, there has to be a connection – a bond. There has to be ultimate trust and respect between Dominant and submissive.  The Dominant has to earn that trust and respect – and respect and treasure the submission that is given to Him/Her.  THAT is what the collar symbolizes.

Now i know that there will always be people who look at things differently – and that is everyone’s right – but this is just what the lifestyle means to me.