one of the first poems that i wrote. It came from my heart for the Master that i was in an online relationship with,

It is becoming more and more popular to have online/long distance relationships – mainly due to social media making it easier to meet other people in the lifestyle. However, as easy as it is to start an online/long distance relationship, it is just as hard to maintain it and find satisfaction for both parties.

Many think it is easier for the Dominant. They can direct the submissive to complete certain tasks, which does make a submissive feel useful to the Dominant when they cannot be there with the Dominant. They can have the submissive do certain acts – including flogging and spanking themselves. They can direct the submissive to complete punishments such as standing in the corner, writing, or holding a coin against a wall with their nose just to name a few. Yes the Dominant gets pleasure from this – and the submissive gets the satisfaction from doing as the Dominant asks.

Many times you will hear submissives say that they do not get the pleasure of just letting go and letting the Dominant take control. The submissive has to remain in control to complete the things the Dominant directs. So yes there is a lack of complete satisfaction for the submissive. However, you have to look at the effect this has on the Dominant also. The Dominant does not get the satisfaction of actually wielding  the flogger, paddle, etc. The Dominant does not get the satisfaction of actually delivering the pain and pleasure to the submissive that they own. Neither gets the satisfaction of feeling the touch of skin to skin. I think you get my meaning.

Communication and trust is so very important. You have to trust that someone you are not with is being honest about their faithfulness. It is not as easy to find out about their “extracurricular activities” when you are hours and many miles apart. You have to trust that each of you are doing as you say you are in a scene – except when you are skyping.

Time differences can make it harder to have time together online. I know of couples that are several time zones apart. The first person that introduced me to the lifestyle was 5 hours ahead of me. To have time together there was many times he or I was up at 2 AM – whether i was getting up early or he was staying up late. It made it very hard. But when we set times to talk – barring something unavoidable coming up – we were always there for each other. Eventually that relationship ended, but i learned a lot about the lifestyle through him.

Some couples only get to see each other every few months – maybe only once or twice a year.But with love and dedication to each, they make it work. Yes there are issues – issues they would not have if they were closer to each other. But open and honest communication gets them through these times.

I am not trying to talk anyone out of an online or long distance relationship. Just wanting to let you know that there are going to be more bumps in the road than a “regular” relationship. And to let you know, that they can be well worth the extra effort that each of you have to put in to make it work