Dominants have a code of honor: They will not go after another Dominant’s sub. If a submissive is owned and makes it clear that she/he is, the Dominant will go away. Many will not even make friends with a submissive without speaking to his/her owner. And many times you will see a true Dominant call out a fake Dom/player if that Dominant sees the fake harassing a submissive. There is respect and honor between Dominants.
Submissives on the other hand are a different kettle of fish. It seems like many of the submissives on Facebook and similar sites only want a Dominant that is in a relationship with another submissive. There are many Dominants here looking for submissives-kind good people who for one reason or the other do not have a submissive at the moment. And the hunting submissives will not give them the time of day. They only want the ones they see in another relationship. And what is even sadder, some of these hunting submissives are already in a relationship, but I guess they are only holding on to the one they have until they can trade him in for a newer model…*smh
And then you have the “submissives” that there only goal is to break up or cause trouble between the Dominant and submissive. They do not want the Dominant as their own – they just want to see if they can get him. It is a game to her. I have yet to understand what kind of pleasure a person can get from just causing trouble and hurting people.
IMO, we as submissives – male or female- should be looking out for each other. We are sisters/brothers in submission and we should be supporting each other. Now it may be different if a Dominant and submissive are into poly relationships. But even then, there should be a code of honor between the submissives because if the Dominant takes on the other submissive you will be sisters/brothers under that Dominants hand.
This behavior is seen in vanilla relationships also. Don’t get me wrong. It is prevalent in high school. But a submissive knows that the level of devotion to a Dominant is much, much deeper than you will find in most vanilla relationships. In most vanilla relationships the is a level of independence from the partner. Most do not submit to the other. And in knowing that a submissive gives her heart, mind, body and soul over completely to her/his Dominant, how can another submissive set out to willfully hurt their fellow submissive? Where is the honor and respect between submissives? Is this mainly an online problem or is it a problem in RL also? You see all the time on her lists of predator Dominants, but i have yet to see one for submissives that are just on the hunt – that have no respect for their fellow submissive, that there only goal is to break up relationships or to break strong Dominants. Maybe there should be one.
I know this has been a bit of a rant, but it seems that this is becoming more of a problem than it was. And I know many of you will say that the Dominant should be putting the trouble making submissive in her place – and this is true. But many of these hunting submissives are very good actors. The side they show to the Dominant is only what they want him to see- the whole time making the Dominant think that his submissive is being jealous for no reason. They will act like they are in need of his help, while flirting enough to not be obvious, but to make him think it is cute. And all during this time she is working to undermine the Dominant’s submissive – even purposely causing arguments with the established submissive to try to make it appear that the established submissive is picking on her. And then she will appear helpless enough to the Dominant that it ends up causing trouble between the established couple.
It seems that males tend to take things on face value more than females. They look at what is on the surface to them without digging any deeper. Women on the other hand have been practicing their craft since high school. They tend to be better at hiding their ulterior motives than men. And i am not saying that all women or all submissives are like that – by no means. There are many subs that will defend another’s relationship in a heartbeat. They will ostracize a trouble making hunting submissive until she knows that she is not welcome in the BDSM lifestyle…and this is how it should be…sister/brother submissives protecting each other….or at least it is IMHO