If anyone else thinks of any others, please leave a message and I will add them

• Immediately trying to say there is a connection, before they even get to know you.

• Fishing for how much money you make or trying to word around asking for money

• Asking for pictures the first day/ early on while getting to know each other

• Not getting to know your likes or dislikes.

• Not asking your limits

• If they keep you hid from others. This is not meaning keeping the D/s separate from vanilla life. Many times people have to hide this lifestyle for professional reasons or even from family that just would not understand the lifestyle choice. However, if they hide you from theirfriends in the lifestyle – there is something going on.

• If you cannot be around Him/Her when they are with their friends because their ex is there.

• If they push to meet faster than you are comfortable doing, or they push to scene before you are ready. Your submission is your gift to give and He/She has to earn it.

• If you are new to the lifestyle and the Dominant is supposed to be experienced, and they spend more time punishing you, finding things wrong, downgrading you, that person is an abuser. This is not referring to any type play where both of you are agreeable to humiliation during scenes. A Dominant should build you up not tear you down. Yes you should be punished in some form for infractions, but if you spend more time in tears than smiling, this is not a healthy relationship for you.

• If a “Dominant” ever disregards your safe word or hard limits.

• If they tell you that you have to “earn” the right to tell people who you are his/her sub/slave, you can pretty much bet there is a reason for it.

• If they play on the fact that you are hurting to try to start a relationship with you. Rebound relationships rarely work. Most Dominants handle someone like this with kid gloves, takes a step back a little, or even asks another submissive to come in and help. They definitely would not be pushing to put a collar on you

•  For our Dominants that have a “hurting or new submissive” coming to you for assistance. If you offer to have a submissive speak with them that may understand what they are goingthrough….can give advice from a sub’s viewpoint – and they get mad or refuse it – walk away from them. They are Dom/collar hunters.

• Anytime you feel uncomfortable, protect yourself. A true Dominant would rather you back away until you have truly earned your trust than for you to stay feeling like something is wrong.

• Pushing forcefully for a sub to disclose personal details such as place of residence or workplace before trust is established (Thank you IW Velours, my dear Sir)