So you crave a Dominant that instead of flogging you red, uses sensual objects to tease your senses while you are blindfolded and tied up? Pain is just not something that you need or want – but you still want to submit to a strong loving Dom? You wonder if you are really a submissive because you do not crave pain? Well guess what? You are a submissive.
There are different parts of BDSM – Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism. And truth be told, you can enjoy Bondage without the discipline. Domination & submission can exist without pain being involved. Many times with Daddy Doms and littles there is no pain, not even sex being involved. Does that make it any less of a D/s relationship? No not at all.
But for some reason there are people who believe that if a Dominant does not want to inflict pain on his submissive, then he is not a true Dominant. Obviously these people have not been teased and tormented with a wide variety of sensations until they beg for mercy. Nor have they witnessed a submissive reach a point of begging for mercy, almost – if not – using their safe word because they cannot take any more. Sensual Domination and submission can bring just as much pleasure for those that desire that as using a whip or dragon tail does for a Sadist and masochist.
Remember it is YOUR relationship. Getting to know each other and what each side wants and needs is what is important. No a sensual submissive and a Sadist are not going to get along – nor is a Sensual Dominant going to be able to please a masochist. If you find someone who meets your needs and that you are happy being with – don’t let anyone tell you that your relationship is not just as much a D/s relationship as any other.