Now i know many are going to say that this is not possible – or more than likely she/he must be a switch. How can a submissive have a dominant personality? She/he must be a fake or someone playing at the lifestyle. Wrong on all accounts and I will explain why.
Many people confuse a dominant personality with being Dominant. I see it so many times when people ask for advise on how to get their partner to be their Dom. One of the first things they say is that they know that their partner is a Dominant because of his personality. Unfortunately basing your search on what you see of someone in their everyday life will cause you a lot of pain and heartache.
I have always had to take charge of things in my everyday life. I have been a supervisor in a male dominated profession for the past few years. But as far as who and what i am at heart – I am a submissive. I have even been told that I was a natural slave. Although I have not had the opportunity to serve in real life as a slave – one day I hope to be able to. My peace, my happiness, my joy comes from serving my Dom. Seeing the pleasure my submission brings to him makes me want to give even more to him.
What some people seem to forget is that submissive does not mean weak, nor does it mean a doormat. It takes a strong person to serve – as any true Dominant will tell you. A weak spirited person could easily break under the pressure of serving a strong Dominant. It can be a disaster.
Many people with dominant personalities need the release of submitting to someone strong enough to take control and lead them. There are CEOs and presidents of businesses that have to be strong everyday at work that come home and lead the life of a submissive. It is quite the release and a wonderful feeling to have someone who you trust enough to just let go and give yourself completely to your Dominant.
I hope this helps just a little in explaining that dominant does not mean Dominant. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them for you.
Would this be considered what you were describing: Normally my personality has people saying to me “You would be a good Dominatrix”, but once I am alone in the bedroom with a partner I tend to want to please them. My test to them is to ask if what I am doing to them is pleasurable and how it could be better. I think that is my Submissive nature peaking out.
I cannot really say, A Dominant – a true Dominant wants to please their submissive as much as she or he longs to serve and please him or her. A submissive nature is a longing to submit and serve another. Only by exploring, reading, asking questions, will you be able to know what you truly are. It is not something that anyone can tell you. Introspection will tell you.
I am very much the same way. My life outside of this relationship…..I am the definition of dominate. I take care of business, I get things done, totally type a and i dependent. It’s the extremes that make me happy. I am the person others turn to and they don’t even realize it’s because of my submissive side that they do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
i am the same
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for this. You’ve just described an important part of me, which many other people simply do not understand…
Successful career woman, tough and dominant in the board room. Wants to de-stress and pass full control to a capable, successful natural Dominant man who understands her desires and needs and is highly capable and able to more than satisfy them. Satisfies her urges to please and give herself totally to Him in return. Mutual love and respect that is earned.
As a dungeon master and natural dominant man based in London, UK; I have known and developed BDSM relationships with a few UK and USA strong career/submissive women over the years. Two were actual professional dominatrices at work but genuinely submissive behind closed doors. The others were successful career women. I’ve been told I should BLOG or write a book on my experiences… maybe after I have retired!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Submission to a fine Mistress is not as easy as some may think it is. Often it is the submissive who helps her Mistress remain positively strong in her real aspects in life when at her weakest moments.