Sometimes my need and desire to serve is almost overwhelming. It seems that no matter how much i give, how pleased He is with me, i find myself longing to give more. His happiness – His pleasure – brings me so much happiness and joy.
I know that as long as He is pleased with me that i am serving Him well, but i believe my desire to serve just grows stronger every time He smiles at me and tells me what a good girl i am.
As i think on my time as a submissive, i am sometimes amazed at how i have grown as a woman and a sub. I am nowhere near the same person i was 4 years ago. I can only pray that i continue to grow in submission and strength so that i can always please Him. That i can grow as a person and a sub to be able to give Him all that He may ask of me.
i can understand that there are many that do not understand how one can submit to another’s will and feel they are a stronger person for it. Heck, if someone would have tried to tell me that a few years ago, i would have been scratching my head too – all the while wondering why i constantly felt something was missing in my life. Opening my heart and mind and finally accepting my submissive spirit was like finding myself for the first time. It answered all the “whys” that was always in my relationships.
I am not saying that my travel along this path has been easy – there have been some dark, rocky sections along the way. But now i stand in the light that His Love for and Dominance of me, and i feel myself blossom. And the ache to serve, to please grows stronger.